I was a God Lover from an early age
At Age of five listening to the story of Lord Shiva and Sati told by my mother, I first heard the word “Swami”. The word just went into my heart and I loved it very much even though I did not understand its meaning.
I was born in a small village in Eastern Nepal surrounded with temples of Goddesses like DantaKali, Pindswori, and Panachakanya. My grandparents were very religious and they practiced many rituals, and performed regular pooja.
My earliest memory recalls me of waking up and coming down to the porch of our home where I would see people carrying pooja thali/baskets filled with flowers and worshiping materials on their way to the temple. One of my everyday chores was to wash pooja dishes and collect flowers in a little basket from our garden.
Growing up in such a holy surrounding, I would play Hide and Seek game in the temple with my friends. Sometimes we would go and hide inside the temple and the priest would then get angry with us. It was such a fun. We also played with big Ghanta (bells) located around the temples.
When I was five or six years old I got a statue of Lord Ganesha. I used to carry that with me everywhere. I used to do pooja to the statue and play with it, just like a little girl who would play with her dolls.
One evening, a candle was lit and its flame touched the Ganesha's statue. As it happened, I saw a little mouse running around. I was so happy and felt that Lord Ganesha's Bahan (ride) had come to help the Him. Then the mouse disappeared. Next day my father found the mouse and killed him. I was so upset with my dad and cried asking why he killed him. I told him that it was my Ganesha's Bahan. I cannot remember what happened after that but the story still touches my heart.
When I was about seven years old, my parents admitted me in a Christian boarding school in Sikkim. There I loved singing songs of Jesus Christ. I was good at singing songs and even won awards in singing competitions in the school. Even at the age of seven, I felt I was so connected to Jesus. I remember that I used to cry wanting to see him. I especially loved Jesus because He loved children. The song still rings in my ears “ Yeshu le sabai Naani Lai Pyar Garchan!! or “Jesus loves all the children”. It was a beautiful feeling to know that god loved me.
There was a mosque close to our hostel and I was attached to that too. Hearing their prayers from the loud mike, I used to be curious wanting to know how they pray. I wanted to go inside the mosque, but of course in a hostel we had strict rules and it did not happen.
Once when I returned to home from the boarding school, my parents decided not to send me and my brother to that school again as they probably missed us. I was fine with that except I missed singing songs on Jesus and celebrating Christmas in the school. However, I quickly reverted to my original background and fell in love with God and Goddesses described in Hindu scriptures.
One thing always made me confused. In the church of my Christian School, I would hear that only good Christians would go to heaven and the rest would go to hell. I used to worry and say, “What would happen to my family and friends who are not Christians?”
Whenever we troubled our mother, she would threaten us saying that she would leave the home and stay in Brindavan singing bhajans. I used to cry and beg her to take me along too. My mom would than give me sweet smile.
In our village there was a small cultural group to which I belonged. We performed cultural shows during festivals like Navaratri, Krishna Janmashtami, and Ram Navami. During the festival, we used to sing bhajans all night. I loved singing bhajans and I quickly got attached to bhajans of Lord Krishna and Lord Shiva. Sometimes I imagined myself playing with Krishna in Gokul. Sometime I imagined myself as a young Parvati worshiping her husband Lord Siva. Those imaginations during my young age were so beautiful.
From a very young age, when my mother used to tell me the story of Sati and Parvati, I felt as if I were them. I am not sure how my love to God sprouted in me but I always felt as if I was their lover. I was a God Lover.
My association with music
I loved music very much. My uncles had collected different kinds of musical instruments in the house. I used to watch them playing guitar, harmonium, and kango. I even myself learned how to play guitar. As a young girl who could sing and play guitar, I used to get invitation to perform in various places. Even though I was young girl, I travelled to many places without any fear. My parents would get worried and say that you are still a little girl and you need to be careful. But for some reasons where ever I went, I never felt away from home. I always felt safe and protected in all the places.
During high school days, I used to miss classes and go for singing and playing guitar wherever I got invited. During those days, I mostly sang patriotic and common songs. My parent used to complain me that I am not studying properly but singing most of the time.
I finished my high school in 1987…. and then went to Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, to attend nursing college. I was a bright student but did not did not attend classes regularly. I missed classes quite often in order to sing and perform in cultural shows. I joined a musical band and played rhythm guitar for the band. We formed the first women band in Nepal and even released some albums. After some years, I became a lead singer in the band and participated in various school activities. I also did several recording in Radio Nepal. I was more interested in singing and serving people than attending classes.
To be continued……………
Edited By Sai Brother Bhuwan Thapa
No comments:
Post a Comment